happiness, joy, or content? ...None of the above.

So how do you find joy in a situation you are completely discontent with? This is a question i honestly ask myself every day. I wonder out loud why God has put me in this place. I have no idea where to begin in finding joy here. 

I write this from the cave. This is the second cave i have owned. A cave is a bedroom with very little light. It is dark, like a cave. My cave. I Like it. Ask Spencer about my first cave. I like solitude during the week, and balls to the wall excitement on the weekends. Why do people think I am depressed? 

So what I am a little quirky when it comes to my living style. I find myself wishing for a fantasy world of ease of life. Where problems can be solved with a few kind words, and in less than an hour. I dream of a place where people to people interactions are easy. Where everyone gets along, and no one is looked down upon. Where is this place i drift off to so often?

I used to make alot of fun of teenage angst. But the older i have gotten the more i have realized it doesn't go away. It just manifests itself in different aspects of your life. You just start calling it different things. Stress, anxiety, etc etc. 

Reguardless of what we do we are still fallen. There is not one good thing in us. Chew on that. 

Broken vessels in a fallen world. We can never earn or work our way out of our pits and evil ways. 

True depression does not come from being weary of pain, it comes from being weary of pleasure.

When we realize the one thing in this world we thought would bring us happiness lets us down, that is when depression happens.

I am not depressed, i just think to much. 

I hate to sound like a whiney 14 year old, but sometimes that is just what falls out of my brain. Deal with it. And rather then cutting it down, answer some questions for me. 

-B out