So I haven’t updated my blog in quite a long time. My bad. I am writing this while I sit in class. I have pondered why I came to Southeastern in the first place. I left Christopher Newport University because I am looking for something. I am still searching for it. I am looking for answers to this crazy thing called life. I guess I came here to try and find some answers to why I believe what I believe. But I am beginning to think I came to the wrong place. Don’t get me wrong, this is a great school, the professors know their stuff. But I think I am looking for something besides what they offer in classes. I know I have faith, I know I am a Christian, but why is this the correct way? I mean I know it is correct, but my head doesn’t co-inside with my heart. I look at people around me here and I do not see any parts of myself in them. Some of them hang on every word of their professors, but I am so skeptical. I do not doubt God, I guess I doubt myself.
That feels like the harder thing to doubt. Or at least, it makes me feel worse. I doubt myself in a lot of areas in my life, and it makes things hard sometimes. I don’t know if it is the same as self confidence, but it is probably close. I doubt a lot of my abilitys, but is this bad? I mean according to Descartes, this makes me know I am alive. Because of my doubt I know I exist. What an amazing statement. Cogito Ergo Sum. I think therefore, I am. Because I am writing this blog you all who read this know I exist.
I like philosophical things like that. Reality is a crazy thing, I love trying to understand it. But if I close my eyes, will it all go away?
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